I find myself angry alot lately with my partner. Angry that somethings don’t happen. Angry that promises aren’t kept. Angry when he sleeps till 11am on the couch in the morning rather than feeding his child and interacting with her.
Angry.
Angry when he gets angry and acts like a 5 year old. Angry when he loses his patience and becomes what I feel is emotionally abusive toward his child and myself.
Angry.
I get angry at myself for putting up with it all the time. I get angry with myself for not following through on my conviction that he would not move with us to the new house if he did not change.
Angry.
I’m angry that the same thing that always happens did. I get an apology, the behavior changes for a week or two and then goes right back to where it was.
Angry.
I am angry that someone stole my wallet with all of my ID and our Christmas money. I am angry that there is nothing I can do about it. I am angry that I wasn’t more careful at work and let myself get distracted and relaxed with where I place my purse.
Angry.
I am angry that I will come home and hate my husband today. I am angry that I will once again look at him and not be able to feel basic common respect for him. I am angry at myself for not being a better personin that respect. I should be able to forgive all this. Christ teaches us forgiveness right?
Angry.
I am angry that once again I feel like I am a single parent raising my child. That I have to make sure everything happens. I am angry that he can’t be a co-leader in our marriage. I am angry that I worry about leaving her alone with him, because I don’t know what he will do if he looses his temper or get’s frustrated. I am angry because I know he won’t feed her at the right times, that he won’t put her down for a nap and that she’ll be tired and frustrated too because he isn’t being an adult and taking appropriate care of our child.
Angry.
I am angry that I have to work through the weekend but I am also thankful because the overtime will help me save up some the money that was stolen.
Angry.
I am angry that though I am working a full time job now, he still doens’t think that my work is important too. I am angry that he can’t solve his own problems. ever. and in fact creates more for me to fix. I am angry that he isn’t taking care of the truck that belongs to my parents and causes us more in repair bills.
Angry.
It is the last day of the year. I am three days into one of the worst colds I have had this year. I am short 900 dollars and and a $50 dollar wallet, plus all of the pictures and little things I had in there. I am angry that I will come home and he hasn’t done a single dam thing today. Dinner won’t be made. The kitchen will still not be cleaned. He won’t have unpacked a single damn box. The laundry won’t be done, or if he did do a load it won’t be put away and will sit out for weeks in a lump on a chair.
The trash will be full. He won’t have gone to the grocery store so there won’t be any food in the fridge.
And it will all be my problem when I get home.
I am angry about this. I am angry today and I need to let it go so that I don’t start 2011 with all of this negative baggage. I am angry and I don’t want to be. I am angry and I don’t know what to do about it.
