Shower for One Please

In this day and age, should I have to fight for my shower? Should I have to answer the same question every night and have to deal with the sad face the inevitably follows my answer. Thus ruining any chance of me actually having a peaceful and relaxing shower.

Not that I get a peaceful and relaxing shower. I have to rush through and do a 2 minute shower at night, speed washing in hopes that I will make it under the spray and out to a towel in time to miss his hopeful face peaking around the shower curtain.

“Can I join you?”

I hate this question. After almost 4 years of marriage I have come to dread bed time. As usual, I get up and say some semblance of the following: I’m tired, gonna shower and go to bed. and as usual I get the question. “Can I join you?”

No. And I have to leave it there because if I say all that i want to say, I will hurt his feelings and that is bad. Right? You aren’t allowed to be a harping bitch in your marriage because that makes you the bad guy and allows him room to be the emotionally abusive asshole that he evidently wants to be.

Anyway what I want to say is, No. You cannot join me. This is the only time of the day I get to myself, a time I used to enjoy, a time I used to be able to take whenever. I have resigned myself to the fact that the only time I can now take a shower is when everyone else’s needs have been met and the sun is no longer in the sky, but that does not mean I have to resolve myself to sharing the shower with you.

It isn’t sexy. Me all wet and lathered up in my pale white roundness is not sexy. I’m trying clean off a day of baby poop and house gunk, of you and all the stress. Sex in the shower doesn’t work for me. You get off, but I don’t. I get a muscle cramp and my head banged against the shower wall. Not Sexy.

And I shouldn’t have to deal with you poking your head into the shower on the days I try to sneak off and shower without announcing it. I didn’t invite you. Everytime I get into the shower is not a time to get off.

Oh OH OHHHHH and the worst but happened the other day. I’m getting into the shower and as usual don’t want the company. So he decides to ahem handle the situation himself. And what does he do? Pokes his head in the shower and asks if he can do it in there. “I won’t get it on you”

Dam fucking right you won’t get it on me, because you aren’t going to come in here and do that.

If I ever want you to come in, I will issue you an invitation. Until then consider the shower door locked and closed when you hear the shower running.

~ by allykat on July 23, 2008.